I’m not making any plans. I’m not making any promises. No schedules, no goals, no nothing. I’m only here to say I’m thinking I might like to maybe write a blog post again. Every once in a while. Maybe. Or maybe just today.
I just went back and read my posts from last February where I talked about the RyLee Adventure in Colon Cancer. I discovered there that I had discovered then (I’m a little rusty. and tired. bear with me.) that, apparently, there’s this pattern to my crazies. Seems like lots of stuff gets stirred up in my life during the months of January and February and into March. God comes in and shakes things up, stirs things up, makes some changes, leads us elsewhere, does something that leaves me feeling “Woah! what just happened there?!!” Or, maybe that’s just how I see this year’s adventure. I’m not sure it’s always been so LOUD AND IN MY FACE as it has been this year.
Yes. Screaming. God’s screaming in my face, but I don’t know what he’s saying. Or it feels that way, anyway. Perhaps it’s simply life that is screaming in my face and God’s there talking to me like always but I just can’t hear him for the screaming.
I don’t even know where to begin. I did this last February and March. Wrote about the crazy stuff that happened the previous January-March and how it led up to the stirrings of February through March of 2012. And here I stand again. Looking at this crazy pile of life and wondering where to begin to lay it all out. Last year I did a handy dandy timeline. I don’t feel so linear this year.
Another pattern I was thinking about the other day? Lent. Lent is a category in the menu over there on the right side of your screen. Every year during Lent I pop on here and talk about my ambivalent relationship with Lent. It’s often accompanied by some Grand Plan to blog every day. I’m not even going to whisper such a suggestion this year.
Yet, here I am again. Thinking about Lent and my ambivalence toward it. And here’s why I’m ambivalent: I don’t want to observe it because I’d like to eschew all things Liturgical Calendar like a good Old School Presbyterian should (I’m not sure if I mean to say that I’m a bona fide Old School Presbyterian or if I mean to say I’m just kickin’ it ol’ school Presbyterian. either way . . . ) I’d like to eschew Lent. As a creation of tradition, not Scripture. Kinda like the church’s version of “Mother’s Day is just a ploy by Hallmark.” Anyway, I’d like to eschew it (tell me that’s not just the funnest word ever, am I right?), and yet every year it seems I get shoved out into the desert during Lent. To wander around and contemplate my vocation, and be tempted by Satan to just run far, far from God. To thirst and hunger and experience a spiritual fast. This year is no different. In fact, this year might be the desertestest yet.
I’m in school now, you know. Nearly a Master of Theology now. They teach us fancy theological terms like desertestest here.
Where to begin to tell the story . . .
Well. The past five months have brought me hurricane, ER-worthy injury to the small and vulnerable, pest infestation, flood, and fire. All while I’ve been–in practice, not reality–a widowed mother to orphaned children. This year my life decided to go Apocalyptic. I might spend some time writing about that in these coming days or weeks or months. Or I might not.